Healing From sexual trauma

The reason why I offer healing from sexual trauma is because I went through it myself . I grew up with a father who had a sick relationship with sex . My late father used sex to control my late mother . My late father also had addiction to porn. Pornography in itself is not wrong , however he did not learn how to have a healthy relationship with porn. From my own healing experience I realized that my father never learned that there are two ways to look at sex . there is the healthy way which means making love with the person you love and caring about that person , and the less healthy way is using sex for control purposes . I learned in my own healing from observing all the situations in my youth where my father would sexualize me . I am not talking about incest , however he would look at me from top to bottom every few years and think out loud saying that I was the right age or would be soon the right age to be kidnapped and used for sex . My father was GOD so everything he said was true in my mind and I was scared although I did not really understand what it meant , also I did not get the “ sex talk” so this was close to sex education as I got at home . Another memory that comes to mind was when i was 11 years old , I was obsessed with the flamenco dance . I would dance anytime I was done with homework or was bored . One day , I don’t remember if it was a weekday or weekend , my father suddenly saw me and yelled that men were watching ! From that day on I stopped dancing flamenco . Now as an adult and after starting my healing journey I realized that this was not normal . A father with a healthy mindset should appreciate that his daughter loves flamenco and if he did not understand my passion he should have talked to me about it . Yelling at your daughter about her dancing and mentioning that men are staring at her sounds very wrong and a father with a healthy relationship to sexuality does not even have such a mindset.These are just a few examples of what can cause a sex trauma . Nowadays in my practice , I coach and help my clients by looking into a mirror and looking at themselves from an outside perspective , meaning not at what a parent or somebody told them who bullied them but from the perspective of a person who loves and cares about them . I show my clients how to love themselves and their bodies again . Sexual trauma can manifest in different ways . Eating disorders , constantly feeling ashamed of how your body looks and having unhealthy relationships with future partners . I know this because I had two unhealthy relationships myself . I was with two different men who were very similar to my father and had tantrums whenever I said no or protected my autonomy . More to that in another blog post .