Forgiving and accepting my narcissistic father
My late father was a narcissist. .
When I say narcissist, I mean that it was all about him and he was in his view the most important person in the world .
I witnessed my father once beat my mother. Although my father only beat her once in my presence, I knew that he continued behind closed doors meaning when I was asleep or not home .
A lot of people question where or how narcissism starts in men . I am not sure there is a definite answer for that though .
In my fathers case , I know he grew up in an environment where the husband was “ God “ and the wife and everybody who lived in the household had to “ obey him “ . If a man beat his wife that meant that he loved her .
I know this sounds insane . Unfortunately this was common in every country a couple of hundred years ago and it was not limited to a specific country .
Unfortunately some families still raise their sons that manner despite the evolving of society.
In my father’s case , when the times were different in the 1960’s and beyond , my father had free will like we all do and he had the opportunity to learn what better ways there are to treat people or even your wife . Unfortunately he made the choice to follow what he learned with the bad influences in his life .
People ask me if it is possible for a person to get “ cured “ of narcissism. My answer from my experience for mostly is “ it depends on the individual “
You can’t help a person ego does not want to see or face their faults .
Throughout my healing journey with Reiki and other modalities I use on myself and my clients, I learned to accept my father for who he was . When you become an adult, you can make excuses and say “ that is how I was brought up “ , however the older and maturer you become that excuse is not valid anymore and you learn more about life and you choose what morales you want to follow. .
My father chose to follow the old ways and I accept it even if I think it is wrong . I accept his choices because he was despite everything a human being. .
I am an adult and I have free will and I choose to follow my heart and what I see is right . I will make mistakes along the way because I am human and not perfect. For me personally, it is important to recognize my wrong doings and take responsibility.
Thank you
Dusya L