Feeling Shame Around Sex

I have people contacting me seeking help , men as well as women . However when people contact me , they want help and at the same time they feel shame . The main issue I see with shame is the subject of sex . People who contact me have shame around the topic of sex whether due to culture or religion . I have men as well as women reaching out because they have difficulties with having sex . For centuries , women were considered “unpure” or dirty when they had issues around sex .whether it was because they were not able to have an orgasm or issues around not having enough sex . For men , it is about not being able to “ perform “ or needing more than their partner is willing to offer to satisfy the partner .

When somebody hears that a women is having difficulties having an orgasm then that means that she was sleeping around or if a women is insatibel again she is considered as being a “ slut” . For men , when they are not able to perform then again there are assumptions about his masculinity or if he needs more than he is doing something criminal ( for a lack of better wording ) .

Due to western beliefs and notions , men and women with the above mentioned problems are the problem .

In my Reiki practice I learned that issues around sex is caused by trauma or ailments .

I am not saying that all people with sex issues have trauma or ailments , however I would greatly appreciate if the western medicine would acknowledge that issues around sex can be caused by trauma or ailments .

When I say “ Ailments “ I am referring to Tumors , Blood circulation issues like blood pressure , heart , cardiovascular problems and other neurological health issues that are unfortunately rarely discovered .

I know , that you , whoever is reading this will ask “ What about sex offenders ? Are you talking about them ?”

To be honest , I am not talking about sex offenders . Sex offenders are padophiles ( people who don’t care with whom they have sex or only want to have sex with children . Or rapist . Again , they are not the ones I am talking about . Sex offenders or padophiles do not relate to shame . They are sick mentally , however they know that what they are doing is wrong and still committing a sex crime because of their urge for sex and something else that I do not even want to research right now .

I want to talk about people who are ashamed of not being able to have sex or have a huge desire and don’t know how to stop .

When a man or a woman is not able to perform it is because they have a health problem . It can be a trauma cause by witnessing rape and or sexual abuse . either the person experienced this or witnessed this and although it was long ago , it is affecting the person in their teenage or adult years . Again , you might say then psycotherapy will help , however it is never that simple because people are ashamed of their sexuality . When you witness or experience sexual trauma , your relationship is unhealthy to say the least . You know rationally that sex is very loving , however your experience is rather horrofying .You cannot watch nude scenes or you think that sex is dirty . You feel ashamed of your body . These people lack self love and develop bullemia or other disorders that cause you to lose weight. having sex later as an adult is very confusing .

Now to the sex problem with having a tumor and other neurological issues .

Women have a more expanded need for sex ( Not enough ) or men start having sex with anybody or everybody and cannot control it . A Tumor or other neurological issues , the brain is not developed or parts of the brain are over reacting ( For a lack of better wording ) .

When you see a psychotherapist , medication is prescribed , however the root cause is not investigated ( when did it start ? What happened ? Who started it ?)

In my practice , I do not prescribe medication . that is not my niche . However what i do is listen to the person , listen to whatever the person wants to share , I ask later clarifying questions and offer then different reiki or other healing modalities that i think the client needs . The stories are traumatic and what matters is to be non judgmental and empathize . that is my goal with the people who contact me . I want my client to feel safe and get the help they need .

In my practice , I have been working with a client who has difficulties with performing . This client was feeling ashamed to talk about his issues because he was worried I would judge him . After listening to him , he felt more relaxed and told me that it was the first time he felt safe to talk about his “problem” . I have been doing remote crystal healing sessions on him for two weeks and his problem was disappearing . I suggested to him to do a different session where he learns to set boundaries and learn self love because I realized that he went through trauma as a teenager which is the cause for his “ problem “ This person was doing great after two remote sessions of crystal healing , however when he went to visit the person who caused the trauma , his issues started again . Self / mirror session helps with trauma and and the fatherline/ motherline wound healing . When you have sexual trauma it is difficult to have healthy romantic relationships .I will be helping this client by doing the self love session and crystal healing via remote therapy . After a month , this issues will subside because the client is feels supported in the process .

Another issue that happens is that a person is so ashamed of the situation that they are scared to get help even though it was done to them . They think what happend is normal . With Crystal healing and other modalities you can release trauma and improve your sexual problems to develope a healthier life . Again , getting to the bottom of the problem and using holistic modalities helps because it is non intrusive and with reiki you do not have to be worried to be shamed of yoyr situation.